It begins already. I knew growing up for Melanie was going to be a lot harder than it was for me. There is so much more junk out there! Some commercials nowadays almost seem to be on the verge of soft pornography. And we don't even have cable! And not only is it bad for Melanie, but it's bad for my boys as well.
This morning Melanie and I were talking while she ate breakfast. She made the comment, "How do people on TV wake up with their hair all perfect?" I told her that's not really how it is, that everybody wakes up with crazy bed hair. But it's starting already. She sees the unrealistic side of things, and doesn't realize they're not real! And this is only hair. I can't imagine what she'll feel like when she begins comparing the rest of her body to the bodies of celebrities.
I need to make sure she has a healthy does of reality with all of the media. But how do I do that? How do I make her understand that people aren't really like that? That we all have imperfections? That we're supposed to be different?
I had a thought the other day that really hit home to me. I've never thought I needed to be skinny like most women in the media. I was fortunate enough to grow up in a home where my mother, although she has been overweight most of her adult life, never said anything negative about her body. Thank you, Mom! So I was thinking, if Heavenly Father made us all different heights why in the world would he make us all the same size concerning weight? And although there is a difference in being healthy and wanting to look like everybody else, sometimes it's hard for us to distinguish between the two.
There is a quote from the movie Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves that I love.
A young girl asks the dark-skinned Morgan Freeman, "Did God paint you?"
He replies, "Did God paint me? Of course."
"Why?" replies the young girl.
Morgan Freeman says, "Because Allah loves wonderful variety."
What would the world be like if we were all roses? I truly believe that is why we are the way we are. Because our Father in Heaven loves wonderful variety.
10 comments:
I love variety, too. I'm glad God made us so different. It really is nice.
I too agree that there is way too much garbage on tv. I have tried not to have it on too much during the summer and hope to continue that through the school year. I think that is it just as bad for boys as it is girls and they way they see others. I am still trying to figure out how to get my kids to see that things aren't always what they seem on tv. It is a conituing struggle even here with my boys.
My major was Communication, I took advertising and all that stuff. My minor was Psychology, with some child development classes. So I got to discuss this in several areas in classes. What everyone I talked to and all the books said was to do exactly what you did when you explained that people don't wake up looking like that. The best time is to discuss things while watching TV, questions like Do you think that toy really flies? How many people (or how long) do you think it took to put on her makeup? Do you think that drink can make you fly (or make you popular)? I try to do that with Jael a lot, trying to explain what can and can't happen, that some things aren't real, like Word Girl and some things are, like the News, but that most things not real, they are just stories somebody wrote and all the people on TV are pretending, and that the commercials are trying really hard to get you to buy stuff.
Cardine - I'm glad you agree.
Melissa - We, too, actually watched less TV this summer. Of course there were plenty of video games and movies, but at least I was in control there of what they viewed. School is great, we watch much less TV during the school year.
Lori - Good to know I'm on the right track. Melanie is a pretty smart girl, she has as much common sense as a lot of adults I know, but the media still gets to her.
Wow. Raising kids is such a big responsibility! It's hard enough trying to stay out of the media's clutches myself, I can't imagine how hard it must be to teach your kids to do it. If I ever have kids, I'm turning to you guys for lots of help!
Thanks for the quote - I needed that. :)
Julie - You're more than welcome for the quote. I think we all need it.
For the most part raising kids is something you learn along the way - until you get to the point where you want to not make the same mistakes your parents made with you. That's when it's tough, and I have to fight raising my kids the way I was raised, even though it's like fighting DNA!
Variety! the Lord is creative too! Maybe I was his favorite, because he didn't do too bad!! I think for some people wanting to be the perfect image is their trial in life. It will always end in frustration, because as we all know things change! I had the missionaries tell me the other day when I was joking about my self image in high school, that being a righteous mother means taking the focus off myself and concentrate it on my children. We should be more concerned about eternal concepts rather than temporal. Find a happy place with whole health and bod thing, but get over yourself too.
Lori A. - No kidding! I have a friend whose mom complained about being fat - and she seriously was not. What does that say to our kids when our own body and self image is completely out of whack? My children need that healthy self image, and the media is certainly not giving it to them. So I must step up to the plate!
Well said.I worry about Elora and the media too, she notices everthing. I wonder if I can convince Joseph to go back to no cable when we move, now that we've gotten used to free cable while we're here?
Elora's been sick for three days, and when she doesn't feel good, she can convince herself she needs to throw up, and she basically forces it till it happens. I had this thought, "o my gosh, don't let her become a bulimic." I can't believe I worry about stuff like that already!
Tearese - It's amazing how early young girls pick up on the negative aspects of our society. I'm sorry Elora has been sick. I hope she gets better soon.
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