My First Day and Carter's First Day

I'm afraid if I blog about everything about my first day it truly will be a novel, so I'll try to keep it short and sweet.
I love school.
I feel old there.
There were 1400 incoming freshmen this year.
That equals 1400 perky 18-year-old people all over.
I'm more confident so I feel more comfortable striking up a conversation with the person sitting next to me.
I feel like a nerd because I'm enjoying it way too much.
I've met at least two people in every class except for math.
Their names are Stephanie, Toni, Amy, Nicole, Megan, Samantha, Paige, Jo, Amy, Natalie, Heather, and Carly.
Toni is the only male I've officially met.
I'm thankful I'm good with names.
My professors and teachers seem very nice.
I'm taking a Nutrition class, History 1700, Math 1010, and UNIV 1000 and LM 1010.
The UNIV 1000 isn't as dumb as I thought it would be.
I'm tired.
My backpack is heavy.
I'm getting up at 5:30 a.m.
I'm fine with that.
I get a lot accomplished during the day.
I need to go to bed.

OK, Carter's first day of Kindergarten was today! I was a space case mom and forgot to snap a photo. I swore I was not going to be one of those parents who takes a million pictures of their first kid and by the time they get to their last there are none. I have one photo of myself at six months and nothing else until 1st grade.

Carter was a little nervous to go, but mostly excited. The funny thing was Melanie was more nervous than both of us. She kept saying, "Mom, I'm nervous for Carter." You could just see it in her body language how she was mother henning him. It was cute and funny.

He said the bus ride was the best, once he got over being nervous. They have a big dinosaur slide at recess, and he said he was the best behaved student in class. Uh-huh. To fib or not to fib?

This week has been so busy for our family. Ben started his new job yesterday, too. He loves teaching but finds it difficult when he is:
a) teaching P.E. with no indoor phys. ed. facilities and only basketball hoops outside
b) has no student edition of the textbooks, only teacher editions where all the answers are
c) has to go to a different building across town to make copies
d) doesn't have a computer yet
These are just kinks that will eventually be worked out. I'm just glad he truly loves teaching or he would be crazy. Or crazier.

Riley's funnies for the week are as follows: When Ben and I told him no about something this morning he said, "That's not fair, big people!" When he found a coin on Grandma Jeanne's driveway he picked it up and said, "It's my lucky day."

!@$&%

Yeah, that's what I heard today on the campus of Southern Utah University. I was there to buy my last two books that finally came in, and there were a bunch of people there for Welcome Week - mostly Freshmen, I imagine. Anyway, I'm walking along and some guys behind me are talking, rather loudly, but their vocabulary seems awfully limited because all I heard was, "That %$^*@! I can't %@**&^% believe the #$*& !@#*$ with #$%& and !@#$!"

My dad is a user of colorful vocabulary. You should ask Ben about the time he went hunting with my dad and they got a flat tire - only to find out the spare tire was also flat. I'm sure Ben's ears went through trial by fire on that excursion.

For as long as I can remember, I've been surrounded by people who have relatively clean mouths. And I'm not talking about cavities, people. There is the occasional 'darn' and 'heck' from my dad, but that's about it. Growing up I always put on my 'deaf ears' and let things go in one ear and out the other. But that's a lot harder to do now that I'm not used to hearing that kind of language. I'm just going to have to suck it up and put my deaf ears back on for the next four years.

Media Garbage

It begins already. I knew growing up for Melanie was going to be a lot harder than it was for me. There is so much more junk out there! Some commercials nowadays almost seem to be on the verge of soft pornography. And we don't even have cable! And not only is it bad for Melanie, but it's bad for my boys as well.

This morning Melanie and I were talking while she ate breakfast. She made the comment, "How do people on TV wake up with their hair all perfect?" I told her that's not really how it is, that everybody wakes up with crazy bed hair. But it's starting already. She sees the unrealistic side of things, and doesn't realize they're not real! And this is only hair. I can't imagine what she'll feel like when she begins comparing the rest of her body to the bodies of celebrities.

I need to make sure she has a healthy does of reality with all of the media. But how do I do that? How do I make her understand that people aren't really like that? That we all have imperfections? That we're supposed to be different?

I had a thought the other day that really hit home to me. I've never thought I needed to be skinny like most women in the media. I was fortunate enough to grow up in a home where my mother, although she has been overweight most of her adult life, never said anything negative about her body. Thank you, Mom! So I was thinking, if Heavenly Father made us all different heights why in the world would he make us all the same size concerning weight? And although there is a difference in being healthy and wanting to look like everybody else, sometimes it's hard for us to distinguish between the two.

There is a quote from the movie Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves that I love.
A young girl asks the dark-skinned Morgan Freeman, "Did God paint you?"
He replies, "Did God paint me? Of course."
"Why?" replies the young girl.
Morgan Freeman says, "Because Allah loves wonderful variety."

What would the world be like if we were all roses? I truly believe that is why we are the way we are. Because our Father in Heaven loves wonderful variety.

Major Stuff

I have decided to major in math. Yes, I know. Believe me, I know. And I really was scared to tell anyone because my brainy brother-in-law majored in math, and he's a lot smarter than I am, and even he struggled through some of the coursework. Honestly, I'm quite intimidated by the whole prospect, but I just can't stop thinking about it.

I was never good at math in high school - for two reasons. One, I didn't apply myself. Sluffing Algebra twice a week didn't help my grades any. Two, I didn't have very good teachers. Poor teachers didn't help my grades either. But when I went to college it was a different story. I had a great teacher and I worked hard. Did you know that I went from a D (mostly because I was signed into the class about two weeks after it started and so I was missing homework that killed my grade) to an A in that class? I even got the high score on the Math final at the end of the semester. From that point on I realized I can do math. I just have to have confidence in myself and be a hard worker.

I would like to break the cycle of poor math teachers. I don't know if it's something I can do, but I have to try. I think my experience with thinking I'm not very good at math brings something new to the table. I don't think I ever had a math teacher who wasn't always good at math. And I think for the most part when a certain subject comes naturally to someone, it makes it hard to teach. Does that make sense? And for students like myself, I KNOW how they feel. And I know it's possible to improve and have a positive attitude about the way you look at math.

That's my plan. It's really going to be trial by fire because I'm starting at the bottom with Math 1010. But like I said, it helps me be a better teacher that way. I don't know if it will all work out. Who knows, maybe I'll love it more than anything else I've done. I just have to be patient and see what happens!

Delusions

It's truly amazing what the mind can do. One simply has to tell oneself certain things for so long, and one begins to believe those things are true. Unfortunately, I think I have done that very thing, but not in a positive way. I've told myself negative or pessimistic things about myself, and have believed them for a very long time.

I've been thinking for sometime about the subject in which I would like to major. Back in February, when I was accepted to the music program at SUU, I thought about this other certain major, but pushed it to the back of my mind. Practically shoved it out the door. I said to myself, "Are you nuts?! You could never do that. You have no idea what you're doing!" In hindsight, I realize now why my music major didn't come together as nicely as I would have liked. It's because I wasn't supposed to major in music. I am supposed to major in something else. (Thanks, Ben.)

I don't mean to keep what the subject is from you all on purpose. It's more that I'm scared I'll be swayed by the things people say. Even if they mean well. That is a serious character flaw of mine - I've never been good at standing my ground, especially when people around me are making excellent points to get me to stand somewhere else.

Ben and I have talked thoroughly over the subject in question. Back in February I never told him what I was thinking. I don't know why. He would never make me feel unable to accomplish something I set my mind to. I just didn't think I could accomplish it. As ridiculously scary and anxiety-provoking as it seems, it still feels right to pursue this major. It's not something I ever thought I would do, and that scares me. But, I bring something different to the table with this subject. I assume (yes, yes, I know what that can do) most students who pursue this major have quite a bit of experience and expertise in the field. I don't have the experience and expertise like many others. However, I sure know what it's like to think I can't do it, only to find out that if I apply myself, I can do it. And do it well. It's just going to take a lot of hard work.

Test and a Job and School and Life

I know there will be more to come, but today has felt like the longest day ever! I was so busy. And my head was so full of thinking that it made the day seem longer.

I took my math placement test today, and although I wasn't dreading it, I'm glad it's over so my schedule is finalized. I placed in Math 1010, the math I took back in 2000. The test wasn't too bad, I just wish I could have seen what answers I missed - that's killing me!

It's not a bad thing by any means to retake this class. The only reason I don't want to, is because it feels like I'm wasting credit and financial aid money by so doing. At least it should be easier for me this time around. Also, it's nice that they finally count the 5-day-a-week math course for five credits instead of four. It's about time!

My schedule seems quite good. I have class from 10:00 to 2:00 - with an hour break where I go pick up Carter from school - Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. On Tuesday and Thursday I have a class at 10:00 and a class at 1:00.

I met with an advisor today who gave me some good advice about choosing a major. He said not to make the decision right now, but to give myself a deadline to make the decision. For example, he said, "Let's pretend you picked November 15th as your deadline. You give yourself until that day to figure out your major. Use that time to do research in the things/careers you're interested in. Ask your family and friends what they think." It was very helpful advice for me, and it helped alleviate some of the stress of choosing a major.

So, with that in mind, I'll tell you what I'm leaning toward. I know that if I want to work when I graduate, I need to do something with my children's schedule. I need to have my summers off with them, and the same holidays. That is non-negotiable for me. What comes to mind with that? Teaching. I'm not opposed to teaching, it's just something I've never thought of doing before. And like I said to Ben last night, I can't imagine being good enough in one subject to be able to teach it to others. That boggles my mind. He said most majors start out that way, but the more you learn, the more you can teach, I guess.

I have also thought of being a counselor in the public school system. I would actually love to work for LDS Family Services as a substance-abuse counselor, but that doesn't fit in with my children's schedules.

I also can't decide if Elementary Education or Secondary Education is the way to go. Ben leans toward me majoring in Elementary Education, but I think that it would also be..... (I can't think of a word, and fun is not the right one) interesting, challenging, satisfying to be a Secondary Education teacher. I just don't know.

My poor mother-in-law. She keeps pulling her hair out every time one of her kids turns out to be a teacher. Out of her six kids, four have pursued careers in teaching, even though one changed his mind. I wish she'd see the great example as a teacher she has set for her children, and realize all they learned from her. ;)

Carter also had his Kindergarten Orientation Meeting today. He's so funny and cute. We're sitting there while his teachers are talking to the group, and he turns to me and says, "Whoa. I better learn to read and write." Too funny. I can't believe he'll be in kindergarten. I think he's more nervous than he lets on. He mentioned today how he might not like it because he wouldn't get to see Riley as much. I think Riley is going to have 'Carter Dean' withdrawals!

And on a VERY happy note, Ben got a job in Cedar today! Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray! His job will be similar to what he's doing now - working with troubled youth - only these boys are court-appointed, and there's more of a 'lockdown' feeling to the program. It's a major pay cut - I'm not even go to say how much - but he will be HOME, HOME, HOME!!!!! He will also have benefits. Hallelujah!

Sorry about the novel. Like I said, today was ridiculously busy!

Accuplacer Test

Now that I'm going back to school, I'm trying to get registered and things. I'm sure I've complained about this before, but sometimes it seems they just make going to college harder than it needs to be.

Since it's been longer than two years since I last attended, some of my credits are void. What a rip off. I know it's been time since I went, but the classes they are making me take are ones I could pick up where I left off instead of doing them over. My math class for example, I could get through. However, my French class, which I would drown in if I tried to take French II, is still good. Explain that one, please?

They've also raised the bar in the English department. If your subscore for the ACT test wasn't 29 or above, you have to take ENGL 1010 AND ENGL 2010. Well, back in 2000, I took ENGL 2010 and passed (I have to brag here because during my first semester at college, I earned a 4.0 GPA) with flying colors. But it's like none of that matters.

So my choices are to either take the classes over again (which for me would mean taking the MATH 0990 class - seriously!) or to test out. I am taking the Accuplacer Test this Thursday, which should place me in the appropriate math class. I'm not expecting to place over the MATH 1050, just get into that class. I'm a little worried about the test, because Ben got a review sheet online that gave some sample questions from the Accuplacer Test. For example:

If the average of three numbers is V, and one of the numbers is Z and another is Y, what is the remaining number?

Those of you who know this stuff just humor us who don't for a minute. I did eventually figure it out, with Ben's help. Too bad I can't sneak him in there with me on Thursday! My question is - and I said this in high school, but after 11 years of marriage and three kids I can honestly ask - When am I going to use this?! SERIOUSLY!

OK, enough ranting. Just cross your fingers for me, please.