Yesterday was such a good day. It was a great end to a crazy week, and a great beginning outlook for the rest of my semester.
Last week at school was crazy. I really enjoy my English classes, but the workload with them is a bit heavier. I don't mind, it just occupies my time, and last semester I had a lot of free time on my hands. Not so much this semester. Anyway, I had a paper due Friday that I was stressed about for many reasons: I'm not familiar with the professor so I don't know how she grades/what she expects; I'm always nervous about the first paper or test for the first reason; my professor didn't explain what she really wanted until Wednesday, and I'm not someone who likes to write a two-page paper in two days. By the time I handed in the paper I was a nervous and slightly downtrodden wreck. As a side note, my anxiety gets so bad that the first math test I had last semester gave me nightmares that involved Nazis, since that was the theme of the book I was reading at the time of the test. Nazi math tests - not good.
I have to admit I have a slight obsession with wanting an A. Ever since I found out I can earn an A, it's like I am holding myself up to that perfect standard. Need I remind myself that I have three kids at home, which is a 24-7 job in and of itself? I forget that sometimes in my quest for perfection. I have to let it go, and Sunday helped me to do that.
There wasn't anything spectacular said. Our choir sang and they were amazing, as usual. I love how we can take a hymn and work it up to really bring the Spirit to the meeting. I was the substitute teacher for Melanie's primary class, and that was actually a lot of fun. Choir practice is directly after church, so we're there from 1:00 to 5:00. Usually I'm griping about how long we're there, but yesterday was just different.
I came home and while I was putting away my scriptures and things I realized that school is great and important, but it doesn't matter. I'm still going to graduate, but not with perfect grades at the expense of my family, my sanity, or my spiritual well-being. It was such a good, gentle feeling. I don't feel the Spirit very often, usually because I'm so stubborn. Yesterday was a nice change of pace.
Now, I just need to keep that my focus and everything else will fall in place.
7 comments:
I like that outlook it is really great! I think that it helps me put things into perspective to hear that. I mean we hear it often but it is good to be reminded and to actually take it in! Thanks! I really liked the fact that when I told my principal about being pregnant and I might not come back next year. He said its okay because family is what is really important. I don't know how he put it but it was neat that he had that outlook on it as well.
Great story, great insight! I know that you'll be blessed by putting your family as your top priority. You'll be blessed to know when enough is good enough. You're so smart that I'm sure your grades won't suffer too much, if at all. :)
Its always nice to get some perspective. Joseph has been super stressing this semester, and has been talking about dropping work hours (which we can't afford) or class load (which will delay graduation.) I hope he gets some perspective soon too, so he gets out of the sad hole he's in!
That was just beautiful to read. I love sundays like that. When you can start the week with a fresh perspective and it's from the right source! Reflect back on that when life comes down on ya! You are wonderful for keeping family first. I know you will do great at college. Sorry about the dreams! I wouldn't take any Polish or German classes anytime soon:)
Lea - Unfortunately, outlooks like this come at the expense of experiencing both sides of the fence. But that's OK, I'll take it!
Julie - Thanks! You're so sweet. And even if my professor doesn't think I'm smart in the way she thinks, I really don't care. Ha ha!
Tearese - Even though my family is my 24-7 job, I can work around them or sometimes have them work around me. I don't know how people have full-time jobs and full-time student status. I'd be crazier than I am now!
I bet you did great on your paper! Sorry we stayed out late the night before. I really admire you for going back to school, now that you have a family. It is important to keep perspective on what really matters and what is really important in our lives, amidst all that we have to do.
Lori A. - Unfortunately for my BA I'm required to take 16 credits of a foreign language, so that could mean two years of foreign nightmares mingled with math and english papers. Yikes!
Melissa - I love going to school, but some days it really takes its toll on me. I would not be able to do this without my mom, Ben's mom, and Tonia to watch my kids - and especially without Ben. He has cooked and taken care of the kids just as much as I have in the past six months.
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