So, I'm finally braving it and posting a poem from this semester. It's one my professor asked me to read in class. Hopefully you all enjoy it. And if not, just don't tell me. Just kidding, critique away!
Chips of Paint
From the wall of rich trees apples thump onto unkempt grass,
green upon layer of green.
From the low-set window she watches them fall
and flinches as angry words fly from the kitchen,
shouts and bangs hanging in the air.
She plays with her tiny porcelain figurines,
wrapping herself in their world of painted-on smiles,
prim, lacy dresses and well-tailored suits.
Obedient little girls and boys.
Outside, the house paint is cracked and chipping,
showing signs of years of neglect,
but no one notices,
for the apples trees with their juicy burden
curtain the house from a pointing audience.
And she sits, staring outside at her green world,
her sunny hair sliding down the sides of her anxious face.
Each time another apple drops she watches,
knowing that the leaves will soon turn yellow and twist to the ground
and stripped of leafy flesh and fruit
the trees will bare their naked arms,
exposing the empty held within.
10 comments:
I enjoyed it. Keep up the good work and post more.
Beautiful use of language. I loved the image of the green upon the green. I also adored how you brought the outside imagery in with the description of the sunshine hair. The more I read this poem, I get the sense there are several different meanings below that which is even there - having comfort in something covering that which could otherwise be an embarrassment. Well done - please share more. There are several contests out there as well that you could consider - free to enter and money if you win.
I'm so glad you shared this poem with us! I loved it. Such simple, elegant use of words to convey a multitude of possible meanings. Really impressive. I really liked the imagery of the apple trees. Seriously, you're very good. Am greedily looking forward to reading more!
very nice.
Thanks, everybody. Still working on it, but I appreciate the positive feedback!
I got goose-bumps reading this. Well done!
You paint a nice picture. I think you have a future:) Wish I could be more help, this ins't my forte, but if you need help with music selections, or vocal training!!!
oOoooh...I like it. Nice imagery!
Good job I didn't know you were such a great poet!
Thanks everyone! And Lori, I'm so taking you up on the vocal training. . . that is when you move back to Utah. :)
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